


take this away

by komet (orphan_account)



Series: sad setauket kids [3]
Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Nightmares, angry boy, post s4e4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 21:42:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11389008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/komet
Summary: caleb is frustrated and he knows he'll never be the same again.





	take this away

**Author's Note:**

> hello another short one because the first one was the main one so
> 
> kinda decided on a limb to go ahead and write all their povs so we just have abe left now

_Blood._

_He sees blood. Everywhere. Is it his? The only thing he can hear is screaming and if_ that's  _his_ _own, he isn't sure. He's disoriented. He has no idea where he is but at the same time this is a familiar feeling. Not familiar like a pleasant memory relived, but familar as in he recognizes this particular feeling of fear. Of not knowing if you will die or if other people will die because of you. And it's different than being out on the battlefield. Drastically different._

"Woodhull is Culper."

_That's the only clear sound that finally reaches him and now panic is starting to set in because he knows that voice and he never wants to hear it again unless it's begging for mercy._

_And then there's an explosion of pain, and it racks through him and this time he's sure the scream is his, but it's everywhere and nowhere all at once and it's suffocating and there's that fucking_  voice _again and it's closer now–_

And then he jolts awake in a motion that sends a fresh wave of pain over him, and seeing the inside of his tent is even more dizzying because he can't tell what's real right now and Ben isn't here and he's struggling to breathe. When his head stops buzzing and the darkness clears from his eyes he gets a grip on reality and he knows where he is. Hopes vaguely his stitches haven't torn, because he won't go back in that medical tent no matter what.

Caleb's furious.

It's that same sort of burning rage that is never _not_ present, the kind of unparalleled anger he'd felt when Sackett had died. Well, that experience had met its match.

He's furious at Simcoe for doing this to him. For reducing him to _this_. His head hurts almost constantly and he swears he can still feel the sting of salt in his gashes from time to time. And sometimes he can still see those piercing blue eyes, void of any real human emotion.

Furious at himself, for whatever he might have told the bastard. Caleb doesn't remember. Can't remember. Only thing he can clearly recall is overwhelming pain and only pain. Everything else is hazy at best.

And Christ, he feels so damn weak all the time and it's only partially a mental thing. His body is exhausted. He's exhausted. And he tries to be optimistic, he really does, but that easy upbeat attitude that usually comes so naturally to him is millions of miles away and he just can't get ahold of it. He wants to, but he knows he can't. Not yet.

He also knows he can't rest easy until Simcoe is six feet under. And he knows that won't put an end to it either. He's aware that this is the sort of thing that will follow him forever and that there is nowhere he can hide where that nightmarish hell will not find him. So he won't hide.

He isn't entirely sure that he will ever get back into the London Trade. He's thought of going back just to prove he isn't afraid and that he is in control. But he is afraid. And he doesn't quite call what he's got now 'control'.

Imagine that. The fearless Caleb Brewster damn well traumatized by a few nicks and some burns.

He's all but deriding himself now.

But maybe he hasn't been broken, though, because he's promised himself that Simcoe will pay for every life he's taken and every will he's crushed. He'll pay for what he's done to Abe and Anna and Caleb and undoubtedly countless others. 

John Graves Simcoe will suffer for what he's done. 


End file.
